Love can always strike on the path to the paddy fields, and there are numerous cases of happy endings sealed by marriage: vows. (See our previous section for notes on Family wedding and civil weddings)…
Love can always strike on the path to the paddy fields, and there are numerous cases of happy endings sealed by marriage: vows. (See our previous section for notes on Family wedding and civil weddings). Mixed marriages involving foreign rather than Vietnamese women usually provoke less disapproval and salacious comments from other Vietnamese. But, DON’T underestimate the consequences! Vietnam is a very traditional society with regards to the role of women. While living in Vietnam, a foreign woman even one with capital assets – will not enjoy the liberties that generally come with the status of being head of a family. Oh, and DON’T forger: you’re marrying your mother-in-law, too! You should be aware that, traditionally, young married couples go to live with the groom’s parents, where the young bride becomes a sort of slave to her mother-in-law for a while. Not many Western women these days would be keen to take on the role of Cinderella (even opposite a really cute Handsome Prince). This explains, in part, the striking disproportion in the (smaller) number of mixed marriages in this direction. Even though your status as a foreign woman can cut you significantly more slack, you will almost certainly suffer strong pressure – and intrusions – from your family-in-law.
DO commit yourself knowingly: your life will not be so simple if you don’t want to have children, or if you don’t become pregnant within the first three weeks after your honeymoon. DO be prepared to receive many, many, many pieces of advice on how to bring up the children you will have had… Stay at home without setting foot outdoors for the first month after giving birth, swaddle the baby in piles of clothes (even if it’s 45°C in the shade), sleep with the baby and the mother-in-law (your husband can sleep on the couch), etc., etc. DON’T ever forget this, though: love may conquer all!
